When my doorbell rang, it was Shina; my manfriend who was there as usual. I opened the door and like two sex-starved animals, we both went at each other, making love in my living room. That was our usual routine. We explored every avenue to have sex, engaging in different sex styles in the process. After our sex romp, both of us will then talk after.
That had always been our style. We were being controlled by temptations and it was cool that way. Don’t get me wrong. I am a married woman and I don’t like cheating in marriages. But in my own case, situations beyond my control was the reason. But then, I love it that way! Afterall, it was not a mistake that we were both away from our spouses and the temptation was beyond us. Emotionally, my husband was technically detached from me. For Shina, his wife and kids lived in the USA.
Now, let me fill you in with my story.
I have been married for 10 solid years now. Its been the most trying time of my life because of child issue. I was working with a Television Station when I met my husband; Shileola. He chased me for like a year before I agreed to marry him. He said he wanted to get married and have all his kids before he was 40 years old. He was 36 at the time.
So, for me at 28 years old at the time was very worried after one year of marriage and I was not yet pregnant. It became an issue…he said it was the stress of my job that was preventing me from getting pregnant…Every day was full of heated arguments and I got tired of being blamed so I quit my media job in the 3rd year of our marriage.
Still I couldn’t get pregnant. Our marriage became strained. He became less and less caring. Shileola only made love to me during my ovulation period. I was really unhappy. I came up with the idea of fertility treatments. Relunctantly, he agreed to start the treatments.Some of the of the drugs made me to gain more weight. He complained of my weight and started calling me unattractive names. Shileola became a totally changed man. He got really temperamental with me when I ask him if I am God that gives children, at least marriage is more than children…what of love and companionship…he said that he settled down in marriage because he was ready to start a family.
His words cut me all the time. We stopped sleeping together. His family stopped talking to me… they started pressuring him to marry another wife to give him children. I even heard he has a side chick whom he rented an apartment for in Victoria Island. He started spending more time outside our home…most likely with the other woman in Victoria Island.
My family and friends were the only ones encouraging me to stay in the marriage…praying that God will one day answer our prayers but how will God answer our prayers when we don’t sleep together. During my ovulation, I will beg and cry to him to come and make love to me. Sometimes he will. Sometimes he will not. That is if he is even at home at that time.
I eventually gave up a year ago. During the lockdown, I never saw my husband, ovulation period or not. He stayed permanently with the other woman.
At that point, I felt like committing suicide. But God led me to start to do morning workouts via jogging round our estate. I decided to keep myself busy by working on my body and getting out of the house to get some fresh air and avoid depression. That decision really helped my mental state…and that was where I met Shina, a handsome guy. Shina got friendly with me and began having the morning jogging with me everyday. He asked what motivated me to start working out. I told him my marriage was in shambles and my husband was no longer interested in me, and that he has another woman in Victoria Island. Shina lived in Europe for a long time and he thinks like a foreigner. He encouraged me to stop being depressed and live my life even if my husband does not care about me. He invited me to go out with him a couple of times to the cinema to see some movies; and at times, we chose to stay in his place to watch films and dance to good music. Shina’s wife and family is in Europe. He lives alone with his driver and house keeper. He is the CEO of a Consultancy Firm. I felt happy again in a long time. Being friends with Shina gave me new purpose. We became a tight friendship network. We were each other’s support system.
On my birthday, Shina threw me a surprise bash at a the Amusement Park where he took me to. And later that evening, he sent me a text…asking me a question which threw me off balance: he asked when was the last time I had sex. I couldn’t believe he sent me that. In less than two minutes, he sent another text, informing me that he was coming over to my place. I was shocked…but I did not say no or yes. When he rang my doorbell…I opened the door and like two starved animals…we both went at each other and made love in my living room. Both of us talked after…that it was a mistake but we were both away from our spouses and the temptation was beyond us. And that became our routine, almost everyday. We made sweet passionate love, and Shina was very good at it.
Our affair continued until I got pregnant in May last year. That was after 10 years of marriage to my husband who couldn’t get me pregnant. Shina said he was not going to force me to remove it but his wife must not know because he does not want a divorce. We both agreed to keep it a secret but I had to divorce my husband formally.
My husband got the divorce notice and came home to shout at me. He rained insults at me and told me to go to hell because no one will marry a barren woman. I told him I was pregnant and that is the reason for the divorce. Surprised, he stopped dead in his tracks. Still in disbelieve, I told him about my affair and he kept quiet. It was at that point he confessed to me about his inability to father a child. He revealed to me how his doctor confided in him that his sperm can never fertilize an ovarian egg of a woman. He then pleaded with me not to divorce him. He begged me to cover his shame of not being able to father a child by allowing him be the father of the child and any other child that I bear with Shina. I was like…wow…this man really has no shame.
Now, that is my worry. Shina cannot marry me because he does not want to cause a scandal and have issues with his wife. But, what if he changes his mind in the future?. I love Shina but no marriage for us. So, I am tempted to remain married so at least no one will know I got pregnant outside of marriage but its my husband’s attitude and ungratefulness that is my issue.
Shileola is cool with the arrangement, yet I still cannot forgive him for all the times of abuse and abandonment. All these while, he was the one with fertility issues yet he made my life a living hell…why should I give him the satisfaction of being the father of my children when he does not deserve it?
I am due to give birth this month. Everyone in our family is so happy that God finally did it for us and we are having a baby… but, little do they know the real story behind the pregnancy. My husband too have started staying at home a lot these days and he has also been nice and romantic to me, lately. He looks forward to this baby coming but everyday, when I remember what he put me through…I really hate him and wish I could do things differently. For me…its not too late…this child I am about to have will one day know who his real dad is…why should I continue to live with a man who is not worthy of being my husband or a father to my child? But then, being a single mother or divorcee…will that not be worse? People will be mean to me, my family will be thrown apart with disgrace and they’ll call my child a bastard…
My mind is not yet made up on what next step to take…